IMPLICATIONS OF DIVORCE.
FACULTY OF THEOLOGY AND RELIGIOUS STUDIES
A PROJECT PAPER PREPARED IN PARTIAL FULFILMENT OF THE COURSE
WRITEN BY
LAMULANI B NGWENYA
IMPLICATIONS OF DVORCE.
INTRODUCTION.
This project paper will discuss the implications of divorce. It will look into factors such as cultural, demographic and personal factors. They are crtical into evaluating the results of divorce. Divorce as explained by the cultural factors is futher sub-catagorised into seculerization of norms, liberalization of norms and the philosophical ideologies. The demographic factors has other sub-catagorises that include age and sex ratio. The personal factors encoperate issues that involve substance abuse like alcohol, which leads to domestic violence and physical abuse. Effects to the couple caused by divorce are poverty and humiliation. To the children the effects are seen in the realms of behavioral change, for the negetive, leading to poor grades and subsequently there is a tendency to be deliquent. Poor relationship with both parents due to deminished parenting. Friends of the couples also suffer from dissassociation and alianation. The bible speakes very clearly on how people are to behave with regards to marriage. Christ stated that from the beginning God made them one.
Factors contributing to Divorce.
Securalization of norms has lessened the sacredness of the marriage institution. People are getting married solely for the purpose of gratifying their passions. Initially marriage was defined within the context of a religous perspective. Yet with the securalization of cultural norms and values many have made this institution of no effect. The resulting tendency is to liberalise the bonds and vows that had been keeping the married partners together. These stances that married people take are informed by their ideological philosophies. Where by the disenffranchized spouse demands qualities that he or she persives are not given to him or her. These qualities like “happines” and “fulfilment” are claimed to be lacking in the marriage. Hence it becomes imperative to therefore disunnul the marriage.
Religion impacts heavily on the marriage relations. The partners feel a greater sense to please God. The metaphysical ideologies concretise the married relations to a greater extent. When there is lack of these principles marriage become just a social contract and not a devine committment. This gives people the right to make light of the mariage covanent. It becomes a matter of how one wishes to be treated and not on how one must treat others. The golden rule states that “Do to others what you would want them to do to you”. The teological disposition is to eliminate the infallible concepts and leave the instutiton unguided, therefore stripping it naked of devine safe guides.
The governments of the world are making laws that make it possible for divorce to be granted to those that are finding it difficult to stay together. This tends to lower the threshold of handling challenges and dealing with hardships. Couples are also less tolerant about the short comings of others and less willing to shoulder the sacrifices it may require to live with such an individual. When individuals attribute divorce to external factors they tend to have the lowest level of toleration, a level significantly lower than those who attributed causality to the relationship itself or who gave ambiguous responses. Hence when the cause of divorce is merely because the state allows it, then divorce becomes innevitable
Age is also a major factor involved in divorce. The younger they are when they get married the more likely they will divorce in the near future. This demographic factor dissolves marriages,on the grounds of immaturity. There are too much responsibilities and the mind has not matured to deal with the demands of marrige. Whilst still desiring to be cared for they are partaking of the marriage covanent and they are not fully aware of the implications of marriage.
If the couples live in an area where there are more unmarried people, this also may lead to divorce. For example if the couples are living in an area where there are more unmarried women than men, then there is a higher “demand” for men than there are men. This competition will eventually make it hard for the other male spouse to resist the temptations. Therefore leading to divorce. This idea is known as the “sex ratio”.
Personal factors that contribute to marriage dissolution include alcoholism. Time is spent indulging in alcohol. The spouse affected is left to seek for affections some where else. This leads to cases of lonliness. The effect is to ask for time and attention from the negligent spouse. Usually when the woman does that he can suffer from domestic violence, that is, being beaten for solicitiong for attention. Then the couples can divorce based on the fact that the other one decided to indulge in an addictive behaviour.
Another personal factor that contributes to divorce is unfaithfulness. Too many couples face the challenge of infidelity that is, one or both spouses have been sexually unfaithful. Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, it nearly doubles the chance that a couple will get divorced. Women more commonly cite infidelity...as the cause of their divorce. Infidelity is one of the most commonly cited complaints in divorce cases with adultery being one of the main reasons for divorce.
Effects of divorce on Couples.
When people divorce, one of the spouses is mostly likely to suffer from lack. In third world countries women get married with very little source of income and they rely heavily upon the husband. The woman is uneducated and possess no special skills to warranty her any income in the future, independent from her husband. Hence upon divorce the woman is left poor. If ti may happen that the divorce court may accord her some property, yet due to her lack of schooling she amy loose it. Many suffer poverty after divorce. It affects the economic status of the couples.
Lack of social support from the spouse. Those that have divorce are more likely to find it difficult to deal some of the challenges of life. Those challenges that were easily dealt with while they were together now they are proving to be a challenge. Seperated by divorce, couples will eventually seek for suport form some other people. This shows that divorce has left them vulnerable. These effects bear a tremendous bearing on the needs of the couples. They may try to deal with them through theraputic proceedures, but without reconciliation, it is not a possibility that they will find solace anywhere else.
When couples divorce it is more concivable that they will loss dignity in the community. Sweeney (2002) sees couples suffering form “humiliation”, loosing their communal reverence. They are nolonger regarded as adequate enough to be consultated as the “significant others” in the “village”. They are segregated and they are viewed as being immature to be allowed to air their voices in the community. This humiliation further makes it difficult for them to seek for counselling. The more they face the public they more they are made to feel inadiquate. This may lead to living isolated lives and eventually they may be lost in the cracks of social humility. Any means to ameliorate their possition is met but unsucess.
Effects of divorce on children.
When parents divorce, children suffer emotionally painful transition. Some parents upon divorce they dissosiate themselves form their original family. Children are left to wonder weather the one who left will return. Espeacilay if they were affluent and then upon divorce the children now suffer. The blame is put on the parent who is the least visible. This transitional period is the most emotionally painful for the children. They are usually not given an explaination of what happened and they are left alone to fend for their own emotional needs.
Behaviour will change. Fearing that the absence of the other parent will leave the family vulnarable to external forces that might harm them, children will try to find means to protect the one parent that is visible to them. This process is manifested by radical behavioural change. This behavioural change may lead to other problems that are a secondary cause, that is, deliquency. Children will become young offenders and by engaging in crime,this is seen as a vry for help. The child will manifest unbearalbe behaviour and in order to deal with him of her, the parent will make it worse by using forceful methods. Change in behaviour consequencially it leads to poor grades at school.
When parents are together they help one another to raise children for usefulness in the society. However when divorce comes there is deminished parenting. The parent that is left behind to care for the children is hard pressed to give them the care and love that the absent parent would have given them. Boys are more at risk than girls, primarily be cause mothers are awarded custody more often that fa thers. The absence of the male role-model makes it more difficult for boys to adjust to divorce. Hence divorce affects the children.
Effects of divorce on friends and relatives.
Divorce affects more than just the couples and children. The friends of the divorcees are also affected. The friends they will suffer from dissossiation and alianation. There are some friends who might have relied on them as a couple for assistance and guidence. The friends may also have diffuculty in relating to them after teh divorce. Especaially if they were close to both of them. The friend may find it difficult to therefore relate well with either of them, hence the friend is alianated by circumstances.
Incase of support, divorce cause the breakdown of the social network. There is eventually no support within the social group. The bonds of affection are severed and the power of love is made to sink into the recesses of withdrawn feelings. Care that was manifested by the married couple is absent and the failure to recompase for the lack in adoration from the two groups of people, means that the freinds must needs be start a new life all together. The change of social partners means living a different life altogether.
The Bible's position on divorce.
In the Bible, God is heard telling His prophet to tell the nation of Israel that He hates divorce Malachi 2:16. The Hebrew word used for divorce in the book of Malachi is “shalak”, which signifies to cast away, thrust away, drive out, put away or expel. A careful note of these words reavels that divorce involves an unceremonial discarding of the wife, without further consent foe her. Hence God says that he hates divorce.
Historically the jewish man would divorce their wives unceremonially and they would be left out to fend for themselves in the streets without any help or aide form hte husband. Examples are cite in teh Bible when Abraham unceremonially dismissed Hagar when the child was still young, Genesis 21: 9-10. The word used in relation to sending away Hagar is “Garash” which means to put away, to send away, to cast away. Hence the God told Malachi to tell the nation of Israel that He hate “...Divorce...”
Jesus stated emhatically that divorce was not there “...in the beginning...” Matthew 19: 3-9. Jesus refered to the attitudes of the Old Testament fathers as being sinful, hence God allowed them to divorce, because they were sinful. In qouting Moses who is said by the Saducees to have allowed people to divorce, Jesus showed them them that God's design is not to divorce. Rather that people they stay married. Paul agrees with the sentiments of Jesus, 1 Corinthians 7: 10-11.
Summary and findings.
Factors that influence divorce are varied and can be catagorised into three groups, the personal factors, the cultural factors and the demographic factors. There are further sub-catagorised into elements which include seculerization of and liberalization of mores. The age of a person, the sex ratio and the addictive behaviors that are cherrised by the spouses. Divorce affect the children in the family as well. There are marked changes in the child's behaviour and the grades become poor. This may lead to deliquency and crime. Even the friends of the divorced are affected. The bible forbids divorce. Jesus encouraged them to marry.
BIBLIOGRAPHY.
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